When you go through a divorce, it’s the reality that you’re going to run into conflicts or have issues with the other party. Even if you’re both on good terms, you and your estranged spouse may not agree on everything.
Sometimes, the stress of ending a relationship, sorting through your assets and handling other aspects of your divorce can be overwhelming. This situation can be an intense stressor, but recognizing how stressed you are can give you the insight needed to step back and take time for yourself.
On a scale from 1 to 1,000, how stressed are you?
Studies have been used to create a divorce stress scale that can help you identify when your stress level is getting too high and when you may need support. Remember that high stress levels can lead to illness, so it’s important to reduce your stress levels as soon as you can.
The basics of the divorce stress scale is based on the Holmes Scale and states that any rating of 300 or less means you have a moderate risk of falling ill from stress. A score of between 301 and 600 means you have a higher likelihood of illness. From there through a score of 999, your risk of illness is extremely high. Then, if your score is over 1,000, you need to see your doctor and start working on reducing your stress immediately.
How do you rate your stress level?
To rate your stress level, you’ll look at several situational statements. Each one has a point value associated with it. Once you select everything that applies to you, add up the point values to see your score.
A few examples include:
- Divorcing with no children, score 80 points
- Discovering that your spouse has had an affair, score 285 points
- Your spouse asking you for an open marriage, score 100 points
- You find out your spouse has moved out while you were away with no notice, score 300 points
If your stress level is high, it is time to ask for help. You can get support from experts in law, medicine, counseling and other areas to help you cope with what you’re going through during the end of your marriage.