Your divorce may be painfully traumatic for your child. Depending upon their age and level of understanding, they can be grieving, mad, mixed-up or rebellious when they realize their family unit is changing drastically – and there is nothing they can do about it. Home life for them will never be the same.
The ramifications of your divorce on the kids may not all be experienced now. What will the effect of your split be on them later, when they are forming romantic attachments of their own? Having seen your marriage deteriorate, will they believe that all relationships end badly? How will they manage trust and fidelity issues with a partner?
What researchers have found
Researchers have learned that having parents who divorce has a potent effect on children. It often lingers into their adulthood. Some investigators suggest that going through the tumult of their parents’ divorce can have a more powerful influence on youngsters than even the death of their mother or father.
There is some good news, too
There is some reason for optimism regarding how well children whose parents have divorced fare down the line. All kids with divorced parents don’t inevitably have troubled relationships as adults. The consistent affection, support and understanding of their parents makes a huge difference in softening the impact of the divorce on their kids. They can still have joyous relationships of all kinds themselves someday.
The union between two spouses might have been openly rocky and mutually hostile. If so, a divorce may actually be the best thing for every member of the household.
Keep this in mind and in perspective
Kids can and do survive their parents’ divorce. If your marriage is beyond fixing, you may need to end it. The emotional hardship that your kids go through if you get divorced – and its longtime consequences – can be curbed by the reassurance and patience you show them.