As you go through a divorce, it can be really tempting to try and lash out at your ex-spouse through anger and frustration. Children often find themselves stuck in the middle of their parents as the process unfolds.
When you don’t want to talk to your ex, it’s easy to pass messages via the children and to let your children hear the negative things you have to say about each other. While this is usually inadvertent and unintentional, it can have serious negative effects on your children’s well-being.
It can damage their self-esteem
To hear your mother and father constantly arguing with each other, or to be told detrimental things about someone you love and look up to, can have a damaging effect on your child’s self-esteem and self-worth. It’s hard for them to hear the things you’re saying and not attribute those criticisms to themselves also. They can even start to question if the divorce is their fault and if there was anything they could have done to prevent it.
It can force them to feel like they need to choose sides
For younger children especially, it can be really difficult to understand what’s going on when they’re getting used to moving between their parents. When one parent starts to talk down about the other, it can cause the child to feel like they too need to pick a side to be on. This can also have long-lasting effects on children who develop resentment in their teen and adult years towards one, or both, parents.
Going through a divorce is difficult emotionally, financially and mentally. With empathetic legal assistance, however, the process can be made a little easier for everyone involved.