Parents preparing for divorce often have more challenges to address than those without minor children. In addition to resolving any disagreements about property, the spouses must also address the allocation of parental rights and responsibilities.
Parents frequently disagree about how to share time with their children and the amount of financial support necessary for their comfort. Their feelings about other aspects of their marriage or divorce can snowball out of control and lead to a highly acrimonious divorce process.
Unfortunately, the more conflict the parents experience, the more damaging the divorce might become for their children. The children may have negative feelings toward their parents or even about themselves as a result of a high-conflict divorce.
How can parents who don’t agree on the details of a divorce yet protect their children from a contentious divorce process?
Commit to non-disparagement
All too often, parents become so embroiled in their own feelings that they fail to think about how their words and actions affect their children. They complain about the other parent to their children or have venting sessions that the children can overhear. Making a commitment to keeping the children out of active disputes and avoiding talking negatively about the other parent in front of the children can diminish how emotionally challenging the divorce may be for the children.
Keep emotions out of communication
Sharing parental rights and responsibilities requires regular communication. Parents have to talk about any scheduling adjustments or issues that require their intervention. Parents may need to work out a system for communicating effectively. Frequently, communicating in writing is the best option during and immediately following the divorce. The use of a parenting app can be helpful in some cases. Other times, parents may need to agree to communicate via email or text messages. It also provides a verifiable record of any promises or adjustments made.
Look into alternative solutions
There is more than one way to navigate the divorce process. Spouses typically have the option of cooperating by pursuing a collaborative divorce. They could also agree to attend divorce mediation to work through their disagreements. These alternative options prioritize cooperation and help people limit how much tension develops during divorce proceedings.
Proposing divorce mediation and working toward an uncontested divorce can help parents achieve their goals of communicating calmly and shielding their children from conflict. Choosing options that limit the tension between spouses can be a smart move for those who want to protect their children from the emotional turmoil of divorce.