Many people have misconceptions about why spouses and significant others stay in relationships where there is domestic violence. But those in the know realize that it is much more challenging than simply walking out the door.
The reasons for staying in an abusive relationship are varied and complex. But none are insurmountable. Read on to learn some of the most common reasons people stay and endure abuse.
They stay for the kids
Despite many studies showing it’s far healthier for children to be safe from domestic violence in the home, some spouses hang on in the hope of keeping the family together as a unit.
They have pets
Far too few domestic violence shelters permit pets with individuals and families. Many spouses stay solely to protect their beloved pets from abuse — or worse.
They fear that their abuser will retaliate
It’s a valid fear, and one that no restraining order can guarantee to protect. There are legal ways to make it quite difficult to learn of a victim’s location and identity.
There are cultural concerns
Some people historically take a dim view of the legal system in general and courts in particular. While understandable, these views should never be a barricade to establishing your legal right to be free of harassment.
They are elderly or disabled
So-called “gray divorces” can be hard to adjust to, especially for a spouse dependent on the other for mobility assistance or other activities of daily living (ADLs).
Your past does not dictate your future
Change is hard at any phase of life. But growth must occur. You can free yourself from an abusive relationship by assembling a strong team of advocates who can support you and your children through all phases of the process.