If you have decided to get a divorce and have a child, you need to break the news to them. Besides knowing what to say, you should be prepared to answer questions. If your child is old enough to understand divorce and how it will change their routines, chances are they will actively ask questions.
Knowing the common questions kids ask can help you prepare informed answers beforehand. Here is what to know:
Examples of questions to expect
Many children ask direct questions, such as:
- Why are you getting a divorce?
- Is it my fault?
- Where will I live and with whom?
- Can we all still live together?
- Do you still love me?
- Will you get back together?
- When is this happening?
- Will I need to move to another school/daycare?
- Will I still see my friends?
- What should I tell my friends?
- How will we spend my birthday holidays?
- What if I don’t want the divorce?
Your child may ask more questions, but these are the common ones to expect.
How to respond
Be honest and offer age-appropriate answers. You don’t want to give your child false hope or overwhelm them with information they can’t comprehend. Moreover, keep reassuring them that they are not to blame for the divorce and that both parents love them.
Typically, you will not have answers to some questions when having the initial conversation with your child. For instance, matters related to child custody and parenting time. In such an instance, inform they you do not have an answer yet but are working on a suitable solution. If possible, you and your spouse should be present during the talk and present a unified message.
Being prepared before talking to your child about divorce can prevent a conversation that can result in increased anxiety and fear. You should also know how to make other crucial decisions to protect their future.