Divorce guilt could have a negative effect on your parenting

On Behalf of | Dec 16, 2021 | Divorce |

At one time, being a married parent was probably the most amazing part of your life. You were in love with your best friend and surrounded by a beautiful family. Over time, your marriage fell apart, prompting you to seek an exciting new start by getting divorced.

Getting divorced is not necessarily as negative as it first seems. You, and perhaps your co-parent, may choose to view your divorce as a positive thing. If acceptance and positivity make divorce healthier, what could go wrong?

Divorce guilt may rear its head

Even when divorce is best for everyone, guilt can permeate your very being. Guilt over the divorce itself is common, but regret over the belief that you have destroyed the lives of your kids is even more pervasive.

Logically, you know you have not ruined life for your children, but your remorse refuses to subside. Now, it has taken control of the way you parent your kids. Some of the ways this happens include:

  •       Overcompensation– The urge to lavish your child with expensive gifts, for example
  •       Competition– The compulsion to compete with your co-parent in securing the love of your kids
  •       Oversharing–  The urge to overshare or constantly explain to your children why you wanted a divorce
  •       Leniency–  You may feel compelled to allow your kids to break firmly established rules

Many divorcing parents in the Denver Metro area struggle with overwhelming guilt involving their kids. Unfortunately, remorseful parenting can lead to emotional instability, confusion and defiance (among other things) in children of divorce.

Discussing divorce guilt is imperative because it can be difficult to control these unwanted feelings. Often, seeking to understand the emotional fallout of divorce may improve your ability to cope. Having a firm understanding of your legal rights can be an unexpected source of support in coping with remorse and other negative divorce emotions.