Divorcing or separating parents in Colorado often negotiate custody terms by focusing on where they currently are as a family. The main priorities are often an appropriate division of parental rights and responsibilities. The parents may then find themselves facing challenges as family circumstances evolve in the future. Those currently navigating a messy breakup or divorce often cannot imagine starting a new relationship. However, as people heal, new love opportunities may arise.
Even those who want to keep their children their top priority may find themselves falling in love and pursuing romance again. How can someone balance the challenges of co-parenting with dating?
Establish and respect boundaries
Boundaries play an important role in any healthy co-parenting arrangement. Both adults need to establish certain boundaries and respect the boundaries set by each other. Having rules about exposing the children to dating and introducing them to dating partners is often very important. The sooner parents agree on a process for talking about dating with their children and a timeline for introducing new partners to their children, be easier it may be to navigate those challenges as the parents move on with their lives.
Communicate openly with prospective partners
While young children don’t necessarily need to know as soon as their parents begin dating, prospective romantic partners should come into the situation with full awareness of the circumstances. Co-parents need to disclose to anyone they date that they have children and a shared custody arrangement to ensure that their dating partners can accommodate the challenges of a co-parenting scenario, such as an occasionally unpredictable schedule.
Make sure the children receive attention and support
It is very easy for someone in the early stages of a new romantic relationship to let their infatuation dictate their behavior. Children may feel ignored and frustrated when a parent makes their new romantic partner the center of their attention consistently. Parents need to commit to having quality time with their children and to ensuring that they understand they remain a top priority. When managed properly, dating after a divorce or breakup can occur without stressing the children or damaging the co-parenting relationship. Occasionally, parents may need to go back to court to modify an existing parenting plan because of the challenges of dating.
Those who approach new relationships carefully may have an easier time avoiding common pitfalls that arise in co-parenting arrangements. Keeping the focus on the children as much as possible can help people achieve the best outcomes in difficult shared custody matters.