You and your spouse are getting divorced, but you’re still going to be co-parents. You have children together, which means that you will need to find ways to cooperate and work together long-term – at least until the children have grown up.
But you might be concerned about this process. Maybe you have strict rules for when your children use electronics, when they do their homework, when they have to be home at the end of the day and things of this nature. Your ex does not have as strict rules or the same parenting style. You may be worried that the children will have quite a different lifestyle when they are with your ex rather than when they are with you. If you’re splitting up custody, do they have to enforce the same rules that you do?
Shared rules are not necessary, but they can help
First and foremost, you generally cannot force your ex to use the same rules that you do. The court does want the children to have a safe and healthy living space. But they’re not going to mandate that your ex uses the same rules that you do, and you can’t expect to force your ex to do so. They are allowed to set their own rules, as long as there is no danger to the children.
That being said, this is something you and your ex may want to talk about to find out if you can compromise or find other solutions. Having shared rules can help children. It gives them stability and consistency. It helps them grow and develop. It makes things go smoothly in both homes. So there certainly can be benefits if the two of you can agree on base rules to use.
Determining child custody can be complicated. Make sure you understand your legal rights.