5 common reasons that keep people from moving on after divorce
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5 common reasons that keep people from moving on after divorce

On Behalf of | Dec 6, 2023 | Divorce |

After settling everything – paperwork completed, child arrangements secured and properties equitably divided – it is finally time to move on from the divorce. Yet, some people struggle to do so.

The irony with ending a marriage is wanting it to happen but finding it difficult to accept when it is time to let go. While family circumstances differ, there are usual causes that can hold someone back. Identifying what these are and understanding how they work can help leave the painful past behind and welcome a healed future.

What makes a person stuck after divorce?

The divorce experience varies for everyone. However, no one wants to stay stuck. Unfortunately, untangling years of profound suffering can be challenging due to the following reasons:

  • Refusal to forgive: Extreme cases involve abusive or domestic violence acts that are too traumatic to forgive. The victim may want their ex-spouse to suffer a similar depth of agony by not giving them the compassionate closure they desire.
  • Unwillingness to confront the unknown: Everything a person used to hold true may now be in question. Navigating unfamiliar emotions and situations may feel intimidating.
  • Obsession with control: Divorce disrupts significant facets of a person’s life. So, they may try to regain power over their circumstances by insisting on reliving their broken marriage.
  • Fear of judgment: Those who place substantial value on what others may say or think tend to isolate themselves. They hide from prying eyes and shut down potential new connections.
  • Hesitation to risk again: Some would not attempt to form new relationships, whether intimate or not, because they doubt their instincts. They cannot trust themselves to make well-informed decisions.

No fixed timeline can dictate when a person must move on. However, it is paramount that newly divorced individuals are aware that it is possible. The sooner they can surrender their baggage, the sooner they can heal for themselves and their child.

How can post-divorce healing happen?

Being someone’s spouse often takes up a huge part of who a person is. But it is not the only identifier that makes them who they are and can become. Thus, genuine healing can begin when a divorced person fully embraces their new life as someone more than the divorce they survived. They can be an empowered parent, relative, friend and colleague. Further, surrounding themselves with the right support system, such as Colorado health and legal professionals, can provide guidance and fresh perspectives.